Story of my Life
Do you know what the importance of family is?
Family is the most important influence to a child’s life from their first
moments of life, children depends on parents and family to protect them and
provide them for their needs. Parents and families form a child’s first
relationship. In a world of turmoil and uncertainty, it is more important than
ever to make our families the center of our lives and the top of our
priorities. This statement from “The Family; A Proclamation to the World” declares
the responsibilities of parents to their families.
Husband and wife
have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their
children. Children are on heritage of the Lord (Psalms 127:3). Parents have
sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for
their physical needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to deserve
the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.
Then what happen
to a child who belong to a broken family? Do you know the effects of broken
family on children? Government research reveals that a broken family is likely
to cause children to suffer damaging mental troubles, five times more than
children with parents staying together, Steve Doughty explain on
MailOnline.com. Moreover, the research show that children with two parents are
more likely to avoid slipping into anti-social behavior and emotional distress.
Doughty reports that children often supper badly from parental breakup or divorce,
and those raised by a single parent usually perform poorly in their studies,
suffer bad health and fall into addiction, crime and poverty in adulthood. The
study unveiled that children whose parents split when they were between five
and sixteen years old had higher possibilities of developing an emotional
disorder and conduct disorder. The research findings say that the family background
of children are as important as the health, income and educational
qualification of their households.
Children from
broken homes experience a hard time finishing school and finding jobs, says
Stephen Lunn of News Corp. Australian. Studies show that these children have
higher tendencies of entering into multi live-in relationships upon reaching
adulthood. Moreover, girls from divorced families are more likely become
teenage mothers. Children from divorced families engage in de facto
relationships instead of marriage as a means of protection to avoid social and
economic risks related to marriage.
Now let’s talk about my personal experience.
As I remember when I was just a boy we had a good family a stable when it comes
to financial, spiritual and any needs that you can think of, but reality hit
between my eye. It suddenly happens when I was still in 5th grade in my
elementary years when my parents separated. One afternoon, after school I
rushed to go home with a huge smile in my face and a silver medal on my right
hand.
I’m really
excited to show it to my parents because we won 2nd place in football on Inter
School Tournament. When I came home the first thing I saw was my mother crying
and my father packing his things, his clothes and then my father look at me in
the eye and he hug me and said “Palangga tamu tanan” he left. I cried even if I
don’t know what is really happening but in my mind I know there’s something bad
with my parents. After few days, weeks on that very early stage of my life I
experienced being lost. There are lot of thoughts floating in my head and
slowly I get it, I belong to a broken family already.
Because of all
the pain my mother felt because my father choose another woman, my mother
decided to go to Manila so that she can forget all the pain and struggle in
Negros. My aunt Jessica, younger sister of my mother worried about me and my
studies, so she decided to get me and took care of me because my mother also
left. It’s hard for me to adjust because I am living in different home, went to
a different school in Tanjay. But the hardest part of all was to live without
my parents. I live each day thinking what might happen to me if my parents are
intact. After finishing my elementary years my father decided to get me back
and continue my studies in Mabinay National High School. He decided that I am
not be back to our home because my oldest brother turn our home to a “Gang
house” where he and his gang members staying.
My father thought
that it could be a hindrance and give bad influence to my studies at that time.
Even if our house was not that far away from the school, my father decided to
rent a boarding house for where I could stayed in. At first it really hard for
me, because I need to live on my own starting high school. I need to cook for
my food and wash my own clothes which I am not really used to it at that
moment.
There is a time
maybe I am in 2nd year high school when I got sick. I had a fever and I need to
buy my one medicine, cook my own food even if I am really sick. All I can do
was to cry. There is no one to lean on, no one to call if I needed help because
my father lived already in Kabankalan Negros Occidental. Maybe it is the reason why I know some vices
at early age. I drink and smoked cigarettes. I think I used it as an outlet of
what I felt inside. I mean it that I am not rear to righteousness at that time
because my parents are not around to look after me.
During my 3rd
year in high school I did not pay more attention to my studies more of my time
I spend it with my friends. I keep on cutting classes, stay late at night with
friends while sleeping all morning skipping all the classes. My good friends
and teachers started to worry about me and my studies, wondering what might
happen to me if I continue doing this. One of my teacher ask a bit of my silly
time and talked about me. He said that I am good at school before and what happen
to me now? He said “If you don’t want your life this time change it by going to
school regularly”. This advice from my chemistry teacher really change my way
of thinking and mind set at that period.
I go to school
regularly. I participate in all school activities and continue playing football
for the school team. My father also continue supporting me financially and
morally, we talked a lot because he keep on visiting me in my boarding house.
After graduation my mother suddenly showed up and got home. I am really happy
and grateful that my mother got home after a long five years but after few
months on a very first day of enrollment in college at the time that I am so
happy and excited for stepping in college my dearest father had a cardiac
arrest and died.
After the death of
my father I lived with my mother and my younger brother in our family home. I
got a share from my father’s money I used it again for my vices and even worst
like drugs. It’s late when I realized I lost all my money to a nonsense things
and now I regret it. During my 1st year in college in Central Philippine State
University in Kabankalan city I did not perform well in school I keep on
cutting class again, I don’t know the reason why I cut classes but maybe I am
just lazy. I spend my whole semester playing computer games like Dota and
spending all my time to my friends while my batch mates doing their best to
limit at least 4 years staying in college and to graduate immediate with a degree while me living life to the
fullest as a youth without direction in life.
All of this
change when I realized I really do lot of stupid thing and waste most of my
time doing unproductive and nonsense things. My girlfriend set as a good
example to me how to become good in all aspect. My girlfriend has a good family
background and they are also very religious. It’s really funny when you become
so pressure because you’re still in college while your girlfriend younger than
you are already graduated and become a registered Medical Technologist within
in five years. But it also gives me millions of reason to be good on my own and
to do well in my studies.
And now I
continue living life in righteousness after I realized all the bad effect of
having broken family. But for me having a broken family is not the only factor
of what you’ve might become it’s about what you’ve done to your fellow men and
your love which presupposes justice. The role of the family in society is also
significant, because the family is the transmitting unit of the values of a
culture for the next generation. When children learn the right ways to behave
and handle themselves at home, then they are more likely to contribute
effectively to society and have a content, productive life. Families that do
not transmit those values do a disservice to society.
The role of the
family to the society. It has been said that the family is the bedrock of
society and can be proven by the fact that all over the world every society is
structured by the same pattern. A man and woman marry and form a family. This
process is repeated multiple times making multiple families which form
villages, regions, and eventually countries. When several countries come
together they form a continent and all of the continents make up the world. The
foundation of this entire process is the family. I propose in this essay that the
family has a crucial role in society by being a model of love in three
different aspects; love for the children, love between husband and wife, and
finally love in promoting moral values.
As people we are
created to be visual with a need to see illustrated models of things that are
important to our lives, especially the love relationship between children and
their parents. As children we learn everything by watching the examples or
models of others such as eating and walking. The family functions the same way.
For example, sons who have seen their parent’s abuse alcohol or show extreme
violence towards one another, practice these same activities. The role of the
family is to give a good model so that others within the society can imitate
resulting in the edification of the society. God’s Word – the Bible, teaches us
that an earthly father is an earthly example of God, the heavenly Father. The
heavenly Father is patient, kind, loving, and always willing to spend time in
an intimate, personal relationship with His children. The earthly father is to
be a living model of patience and kindness, showing love through his intimate
relationship with his children.
One of the most
important roles of the family in society is to show the much needed model of
love between husband and wife. The ultimate example of such love is the way
that Jesus Christ loves His church. He loves her so much that He nourishes and
cherishes her on a daily basis even giving His life on the cross for her. The
husband – wife relationship is to model Jesus Christ’s pattern of love by
loving each other on a daily basis, cherishing and nourishing each other as the
most precious thing in their lives. Such a model is greatly
needed within society because in most cases there is a lack of models for
families and individuals to see and imitate. If these principles were to be
applied then the society would radically change for the better giving people
happiness as each generation follows in the footsteps of the previous one.
During this
crucial time in history while moral values are declining, the family must love
moral values by living according to and promoting them throughout the easily
misguided society. Many values could be listed but the focus will be kept on
the ones that are hot topics in the world today being: sexual immorality,
homosexuality, and abortion. The family must be a model and demonstrate the
fact that the sexual relationship has a place only in marriage between a
husband and wife. Mothers and fathers must teach their children about the
importance of maintaining their virginity until marriage and that there is no
such thing as safe sex outside of marriage. The family must promote marriage as
being between one man and one woman and that any other marital relationship outside
of this is harmful as well as dangerous. Families must discourage abortion
because it is taking innocent lives. If society aborts its future generations
then who will be here to welcome the future?
The family has a
decisive role having the capacity and responsibility to impact the entire
society by its positive example. The parents must show love towards their
children by spending time with them and building intimate, personal
relationships. Spouses must love each other according to the pattern of Jesus
Christ. In order to fulfill its role in society the family will educate
children in moral values so that they will mature and pass on these values to
the future generations making society a safe and happy place for all people to
live and enjoy.
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